Enlisting in the Crusade

I’ve always loved publications. An average person would only absentmindedly flip through a magazine to look at photos and ads, but what I see is a product of intensive planning, sleepless nights and painstaking work. The people behind a publication are not only unseen, but also oftentimes taken for granted. But despite all that, they carry on because of their love for what they do and the service they render to their readers. Every aspect of coming up with something people can hold on to and read and relate with just fascinates me to no end. So when my last year in high school came to a close, I thought that maybe, just maybe, I could try to get into a university publication. My brothers had brought home copies of The Crusader since they’d gone to college, and I would always read through them, wishing, hoping that I could be a part of it, even just for a while.

It was the second day of ORSEM. All the ickle firsties (Peeves for the win!), transferees and returnees in red, maroon, green, yellow, orange, blue and light blue were to go around the soccer field and main lane to look and sign up for organizations they wanted to join. The two orgs that I wanted so much to be a part of, one of which was The Crusader, didn’t have booths that time, so I was stumped on which org to let sign my clearance slip.

Okay, just this org for now. I don’t really have to join it anyway.

A few days later, I saw The Crusader Publication’s sign-up table near the old library. I stopped and stared for a good minute.

Should I?

Ever since that day “Now Hiring” posters around the campus kept drawing my attention. Reading the requirements and the consequent deadline, my stomach coiled into a knot and I gulped hard. I mentally slapped myself in the face for thinking that it would be easy to apply for the Student Press. Of course it wouldn’t be, Nadine. Are you out of your mind? I walked away from the poster frowning anxiously. A subject that I had semester was keeping me more preoccupied that I would have liked. Plus the fact that I still hadn’t gotten used to being in college, what with all the people and the sink-or-swim atmosphere. Besides, I know better not to submit work I didn’t really put time, emotion and effort in. Simply said, I chickened out.

Maybe next year.

The first two issues of the Student Publication for the school year were released and I read them with that knot still in my stomach. I couldn’t help but think that if I’d just sucked it all up and applied, gave my everything, and miraculously got accepted, my name could’ve been on those pages I was holding.

Then, as if it was written in the stars, the first hiring of the second semester began. Finding out about it a second time made me think that perhaps, just perhaps, it was actually meant for me. I looked at the requirements and the topics, and got excited.

Here I go!

***

Goodness. I don’t even know where to start.

How do you make someone ordinary such as yourself look… different?

After days of meticulous (albeit inconsistent) work, I came up with all the requirements: my resume, application form, features article, a commentary on the SK elections, a letter to the Features Editor, and another letter to the staff of The Crusader. I had everything printed out and placed inside the prescribed envelope. Feeling accomplished, I sat down in front of my computer with a smile plastered on my face. And then, a link came up on Facebook. It was a notice. The application deadline was extended.

Extended? I wanted to explode for a few seconds, but I immediately saw the goodness in the situation. I think that was God’s way of telling me to look through my work again. Sure enough, better ideas came up and I polished, revised and edited away.

***

I slowly walked up to the third floor of the StC building, nervously walked past the cardboard boxes piled near the Yearbook Office, and stood in front the door of Room 302.

Okay, Nadine, just knock. Knock on the door three times…

I stepped to the side and checked my reflection on the glass that covered the bulletin boards.

Knock knock knock. I open the door.

“Good afternoon…”

After handing in my envelope, I skip-walked to my next class, shaking.

And now, I wait.

***

“Congratulations! You have qualified for The Crusader entrance exam!”

I qualified for the exam! Wait -- what exam?!

I had no idea there were going to be more challenges to get into the publication. The requirements were hard enough, but then -- of course it wouldn’t be easy, Nadine, are you out of your mind?

Most played line ever.

The entrance exam was, with no exaggeration at all, the hardest test I have ever taken. Harder than the UPCAT. Harder than the UPCAT and ACET. Combined. At least they had choices! Among the other things we needed to write there were words and terms I and my fellow applicants -- Rachel, Iman and Princess -- had to explain that we’d never even heard of until then. After 5 hours of writing and spacing out in-between paragraphs, we finally finished the exam with our brains all limp. As the four of us were eating lunch at the mall after the exam, we happily read through messages from the Editor-in-Chief who told us that we’d qualified for the ultimate test: the Interview, which was on that very same afternoon!

As we waited for our turns, questions spun around my head so fast I got dizzy just thinking about them.

Will they like me? Do they like what I wrote? How I wrote? How I speak? What I say? How I look -- shut up, that isn’t even important. It’s not about what you look like, it’s about what you’re capable of; and now that you’re being such a spazz I doubt you’re even going to make sense in there. What if they ask me to make them laugh or dance, or worse -- sing?

Despite all the ramblings that ran through my head, the interview went relatively well. I will never ever forget how the light seemed to touch their faces so softly they looked ethereally terrifying. I won’t forget how strongly I wanted to prove that I was good enough and that I would never let them down. I have lapses and so many things to learn, but I would be more than willing to learn all of these from them.

***

The results? I got them later in the evening. I was at the bookstore with my mother when I suddenly jumped up and down and brandished the message in front of her beautiful, incredulous face.

“Congratulations, Nadine Legaspi! You have been hired as a Features Writer!”

My mom and I jumped up and down together.

I felt like dancing. Heck, I felt like singing.

Words of gratitude left my lips in strings as I read the message over and over.

I did it!

***

It’s one of the best feelings in the world to be around people who share the same interests as you. Even as a silent spectator in the office on the first few weeks, I knew this was where I want to be: around people who (while maintaining such good fun and sanity) can beat deadlines to a pulp and whip up a magazine in record time all so professionally. I was (and still am) very, very eager to learn. We never stop learning, after all. Just sitting in the office watching my superiors work and laugh and make jokes and play music leaves me in such peace that I would never ever regret responding to that invitation or trying my hardest. I know I’m on the right track, a track carefully planned out, just for me. And today, I’m having the time of my life with these eccentric professionals and sharing memories and conversations with them.

***

My college life has taken a turn for the awesome.

“Don’t follow your dreams; chase them.” Right?

I’m so glad I did.